You don’t know what love means.
I remember the exact first words you spoke to me. 2.45pm. I remember the time because my alarm went off just then. I found you insolent and thought, “what effrontery!” Snobbish Alice as you fondly call her told you to mind your business and stay out of ours. You’ve never liked her and I doubt you ever will. It was the one thing I could never convince you about. That moment, you simply laughed, taking delight in my shocked expression.
Let us learn the meaning of love together.
The words you spoke to me exactly a year later. Would it be cheeky if I said it was the same time? My phone rang at that exact moment. I had forgotten that I had scheduled a call with a mentee. You always hated my disorganization, didn’t you? You disliked it more when I forgot to put my phone on silence and we got interrupted. After quickly rescheduling the call and turning my phone off, I remembered the very first words you spoke to me. I remember thinking, “so you don’t know the meaning of love either” 2.45pm. Was it a coincidence or was it intentional? Perhaps, I would never know.
Did we love?
We tried for years after, to find the true meaning of love. Did it even matter? I was happy with you and you were happy with me. Does one need to substantiate their reality with man-made terminologies?
What is love?
The exact words you spoke exactly ten years later. Yes, the time was 2.45pm. This time I remember because our 5-year-old daughter was playing with the Nokia phone you had given her and a cheeky voice had announced, “the time is 2.45pm”. This is beginning to seem like more than just a coincidence. I never understood your fascination with love. We didn’t need love to be happy and love could most certainly not take away our unhappiness.
Please find love.
Your last words to me. This time it wasn’t at 2.45pm. It was at 3pm. Fifteen minutes after you had asked, ” what is love?” Till the very end, you were obsessed with love. If you really wanted me to find love, you should have stayed. I hope you find it wherever you are but I am done trying to grasp abstract phenomena.
With affection(because I do not know what love is),
Your unloving, unloved love.
Ogechukwu is a third-year student of French and German at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka. She loves reading and writing and hopes to influence lives with her words, both written and spoken.
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