The quest for money, power, social recognition, wealth and success are all pointers that man seeks for happiness in all endeavors of life. Unfortunately, true happiness seems not forthcoming. You see a man ready to sacrifice the last drop of his blood just to gain wealth, money, power or social recognition, all these to appease his spirit man (to be happy) but does wealth, fame, power or social recognition define true happiness?
Well, let`s take a brief look into the word happiness. According to Merriam Webster Dictionary; Happiness is a state of well-being and contentment. With the definition as above, one can decipher that happiness is never tied to achievements, social rank or fame. Of course when happiness is tied within such, it does not last because as soon as the factors disappear, such happiness diminishes with it. Therefore true happiness isn`t in the number of cars one have or houses one owns or wealth one have acquired or fame or social recognition etc.
To be precise, happiness is not to be tied to anything. What then is true happiness? “Happiness is a state of the mind not face, to be happy your mind should be able to relax” I just so much love the definition the Merriam Webster Dictionary gave to the word happiness – a state of WELL-BEING and CONTENTMENT.
This well-being includes the relaxation of your innate mind, for “a healthy mind is a healthy body”.
So one of the ways to finding true happiness is in grooming a healthy mind, “A sick mind is a sick body, a poor mind is a poor being” learn to make your mind stay healthy against all odds.
How to groom a healthy mind:
- Mind what goes into your mind – This includes the books you read, the movies you see, the words you listen to etc. Minds are very feeble and the active engine of force in the entire body too, it absorbs whatever goes into it without rebuffing, but rebels most times when you want to purge it out from the mind. It assimilates even the very least things that comes into it and develops it over time. What does this mean? “Depression is not an accident to the mind, it is worries that has dwelt longer than required in the mind hence transcends into depression”. No action is a surprise to the mind because the mind has first received its antecedents, assimilate and signal it to the brains before the brain reasons it and sends it back to the mind who now prompts the necessary body parts to function. This means that whatever that goes into your mind could be disastrous or not.
- Control what your mind absorbs– to an extent, we may not be able to control what goes into our mind but we are responsible for what she processes. Therefore, for whatever bad thing your mind connects with, be sure to purge it out before your mind signals it to your brains. “what goes into the mind does not defile it but what the mind absorbs and processes could contaminate the mind leaving it weak, sick and unhealthy”
- Train your mind to be optimistic at all times – when your mind is always positive, nothing waves it and it`ll be hard for it to be contaminated. However, ensure that your mind does not exceed its limit of optimism because when a mind is too expectant and does not meet up with expectation, if not promptly handled, could affect the wellbeing of the mind so there should be a balance in the optimistic state of your mind.
Doing good to others little expecting payback. It saves you a lot of stress and trauma when you show love not because you want to receive love for most times your intention may be defeated as your beneficiary may not reciprocate your gestures. Therefore to stay happy, learn to do good and overlook them. This also explains why you should not have your hopes and trust in man for man is mortal and has the nature to fail. “Until you learn to extend a helping hand to others expecting just nothing in return, your mind won`t learn to be independently happy” “The mind is attached to whatsoever it hopes on”
Building meaningful relationships. The network of persons you build around your life, dreams, goals and vision says a lot to the wellbeing of your mind. If you build on the wrong friendships, you`ll continue to be a sad entity. For instance, build on friendships that will appreciate your friendship, encourage your goals and spur you into greater heights than building on relationships that`ll never see any good in your friendship, nor believe in your dreams yet does more of eating up the little you managed to gather. Such friendships worn the heart and eventually leave the soul depressed, shun such! “Happiness is sometimes connected with network of relationships we build around us because when you keep the right relationship, even when your mind tells you, you can`t, they`re always there to stir your mind and remind you that you still can”
Think more, worry less. A philosopher once said that; “Thinkers rule the world!” what is that challenge that has so knocked you down to worries? Stop worrying start thinking. The more you worry, the more your mind becomes feeble and irresistible to any kind of mind disease. You`ve been betrayed? Stop worrying over betrayal, it sucks the mind and eventually leave it sick, start thinking of ways to move on. “Stop fighting over the loss, there`s still more to win if you focus more in your front!”. Well, it`s not as easy as one thinks especially when you don`t have any money on you and even a cup of garri is scarce in your cupboard, when you went to bed with empty stomach last night, well stop worrying about your present predicament, start thinking more on how to get money into your pockets. Ever seen any worry fetch a morsel of food? Never! So stop worrying and complaining of no food, start looking for ways to find food, if you don`t get the food in the morning, you may get it at noon, if you don`t get it at noon you may arrive at it in the night, just stop worrying, get up, think more and set to action!
Queen Esther Emenike (BleedingPen) is a young creative writer passionate about correcting ills of the society through the art of the pen. A motivational speaker, poet, teens advocate/coach and the founder of TEENSpecial, a teens platform established for the all round interests of the teenagers` social, moral, academic, economic, emotional and cultural well-being and giving them a voice the society will reckon with. She loves reading, dancing, cooking and adventures etc, among other things.