The father I loved raped me

Living With My Dad
My Abuse Story

I think the worst started when my mum became ill and I had to go and live with my dad. I had never really known my dad because he was never around.He and my mum had split when I was really young. My mum always said he was a kind man but he always put himself first.

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Just before my mum was admitted to St Joseph’s Hospital, she told me he had been in prison. She never told me why, I just thought it was for stealing a car or something silly.
At first he seemed really cool like a dad should be.
I started becoming really close to him and started telling him stuff. After my mum died, I asked him if we could move to another town and make a fresh start. We packed up a left. The new house was lovely. I had asked my dad for a big garden because I had always liked gardening.

I started my new school and became quite popular. I loved it. I wasn’t always at home and my dad was always at work. I started dating this
guy named Darren Harris.

My dad was getting depressedand saying that he wished I weren’t his daughter, because he wished he could do stuff to me. I felt nothing of it he was normally drunk as he was so depressed I always thought he missed my mum.

When I had turned 14 my dad had stopped drinking and had met my teacher Kylie Dutch and had started dating her. It was cool. I had forgotten what he said to me when he was drunk. It had been months since my mum had died.
I was still doing good in school. I was getting good grades and I was still popular. I guess having all that, you don’t really realize how good it is until something bad happens.

After one year of dating, Darren and I split. It was a hard time for me and my dad. Kylie had left him and he started drinking again. Then one night he came into my room and pulled down the quilt. I thought it was a dream, but then I actually woke up. I saw him on top off me, I started fussing and getting scared. I didn’t realize it was him until he started telling me to shut my face. He put his hand over my mouth and before I knew it, it was over.

He had raped me. I couldn’t quite believe that the man I was so close to had done that to me. I was so scared. I loved my dad so much. He raped me again after a couple of days this time it was worse.

I was so worried, having had sexual education classes, I knew that I could get pregnant. I didn’t know what to do. How do I live like this?
After a couple more months I found out I wasn’t pregnant. I was so happy. I started becoming more happy as it had stopped. He never came in my room anymore.

Darren and I got back together. We restarted everything. I was now sexually active. I had slept with Darren earlier in our relationship but it was better. My my dad came into my room again. It happened again this time it was the same day I had slept with Darren.

After a while I realized I was pregnant, but I didn’t know what to do. I was 15 and I didn’t know if the father was. I told Darren about the baby. I told my dad that it was Darren’s. He just said congratulations.

He was sick. I hated him so much. How could he have done that to me. I wished and prayed he was dead.

After a couple of months Darren and I moved together. I still went to school and I
still had good grades, but it was so weird being pregnant. I am 23. I haven’t seen my dad since I was 16.

I had to move away because it got worse.
By Meredith Roas
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