The father I loved raped me

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Living With My Dad
My Abuse Story

I think the worst started when my mum became ill and I had to go and live with my dad. I had never really known my dad because he was never around.He and my mum had split when I was really young. My mum always said he was a kind man but he always put himself first.


Just before my mum was admitted to St Joseph’s Hospital, she told me he had been in prison. She never told me why, I just thought it was for stealing a car or something silly.
At first he seemed really cool like a dad should be.
I started becoming really close to him and started telling him stuff. After my mum died, I asked him if we could move to another town and make a fresh start. We packed up a left. The new house was lovely. I had asked my dad for a big garden because I had always liked gardening.

I started my new school and became quite popular. I loved it. I wasn’t always at home and my dad was always at work. I started dating this
guy named Darren Harris.

My dad was getting depressedand saying that he wished I weren’t his daughter, because he wished he could do stuff to me. I felt nothing of it he was normally drunk as he was so depressed I always thought he missed my mum.

When I had turned 14 my dad had stopped drinking and had met my teacher Kylie Dutch and had started dating her. It was cool. I had forgotten what he said to me when he was drunk. It had been months since my mum had died.
I was still doing good in school. I was getting good grades and I was still popular. I guess having all that, you don’t really realize how good it is until something bad happens.

After one year of dating, Darren and I split. It was a hard time for me and my dad. Kylie had left him and he started drinking again. Then one night he came into my room and pulled down the quilt. I thought it was a dream, but then I actually woke up. I saw him on top off me, I started fussing and getting scared. I didn’t realize it was him until he started telling me to shut my face. He put his hand over my mouth and before I knew it, it was over.

He had raped me. I couldn’t quite believe that the man I was so close to had done that to me. I was so scared. I loved my dad so much. He raped me again after a couple of days this time it was worse.

I was so worried, having had sexual education classes, I knew that I could get pregnant. I didn’t know what to do. How do I live like this?
After a couple more months I found out I wasn’t pregnant. I was so happy. I started becoming more happy as it had stopped. He never came in my room anymore.

Darren and I got back together. We restarted everything. I was now sexually active. I had slept with Darren earlier in our relationship but it was better. My my dad came into my room again. It happened again this time it was the same day I had slept with Darren.

After a while I realized I was pregnant, but I didn’t know what to do. I was 15 and I didn’t know if the father was. I told Darren about the baby. I told my dad that it was Darren’s. He just said congratulations.

He was sick. I hated him so much. How could he have done that to me. I wished and prayed he was dead.

After a couple of months Darren and I moved together. I still went to school and I
still had good grades, but it was so weird being pregnant. I am 23. I haven’t seen my dad since I was 16.

I had to move away because it got worse.
By Meredith Roas
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About the Author: Micheal Ace

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