Top Ten Entrants | Pun Poetry Contest

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Here is the compilation of all submissions made by the Top Ten
Entrants (In no particular order) of the just concluded Pun Poetry
Contest, initiated, organized and hosted by Micheal Ace, Stefn Sylvester and Shodipe Jola Ade.


  • Poems by David Seventhy-eight phalmist (Overall Winner)

Doctor, i’ve been patient for too lung,
languishing like Aids without aid.
My Labour-artries are in vein,
for you murder my pleas and Tea-se, in hurt morgue
you sip them slow for break-fast
and tell me ”lover-boy ur-ine for a piss off”
but i want to make s-miles of your distance,….


  • Poems by Oluwafemi Israel Oluwashola

…Why o why, tell me why that I with my obscure
Eye behold my feathers tatatterd into the sky
O whose tender palm shall be my balm?
to heal these scars of my wounded heart?
Since this path be no balm but knife
I shall someday learn the best way to die.


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  • Poems by McCoy Major Golding

Porn ASS two facet,
Two holes of pleasure
And a sturdid LUKEing preek
It is the Third from a CHAPter
Lurks in the TWO hole Testament.
Pun is the pressure in your head, so handful to know
Keep thinking, then meaning comes.
Porn is a pleasure in the HEAD, it needs a handful blow
Keep thrusting, and moaning CUMs.

-What is porn?

  • Poems by Nket Godwin

Man’s wisdom is like a woman’s facial expression,
Flowing like kerosene and water with her inside;
It often plays sleight, and slay layers of lashes on man’s lid.
Such wisdom, in man’s haste not to waste his waist, has become wise doom,
As he come put her (computes it) into modern ontology (technology).

-Man’s Wise Doom

  • Poems by Precious Uchechukwu Okoye

I am a bard woman and I feel hurt about it.
No! It’s all my forte, for I was cot in the woods,
With fete so high, neck deep into the knight.
I was lust, in my panes. I could feel it sew hard on my skin.
I struggled, I fought and I moaned like
The giant psalmson, for my walls were
crumbling with so much pleasure
As tears of plea pores out from my skin.

Sceneful Acts 

  • Poems by Ojo Adewale Iyanda

Air-craft and hell-melt
When my war-ship wanted her hole armour, bomb
The bat-and-lions in my gun rose with dear wings, hand claws.
She was farm like the mili-trees
Her hips can sub – my- rim and sharpen my sword.

-War Like Sex

  • Poems by Usman Kamsi Ojo

‘In football, no man is an IRELAND
TO-GO far, each teammate is GHANA need the other
There is NOr-WAY a tree can ever make a forest’
You saw football as a tool for peace to bring US together,
Your magical feet left us in awe, HUNGARY-ing for more
You played for the team, not for self-glorification
Even when you SPrAIN-ed your ankle
And DR CONGO and his medical staff came running,
You refused to give up and got up again

  • Poems by Jayfred Austin

Initially I never understood the depth of PORN sorry , Pun, till I discovered that poetry is a Penis.
A Dangling and wobblying SAC of muse, ready to CUM out with MILKY ideas for a juicy write.
The veins carved on the penis are the figures of speech.
They give Freak-tion to each PORN-Sin sorry Pun Scene.

Thinking out loud

  • Poems of Justice Chimezie

The word ‘cup’ in Russia has different meaning
The Hard-fricans says they are taking this cup home
But hardness is not necessary to lift a cup
The hammericas and Not-America could attest to that
The cup will definitely drown in Antarctica
And get eaten by animals in AustraliaSo it always remains in
Europe who knows
And has an Asian history of cups.

-Pun News TV

  • Poems of Theophilus Femi Alawonde

that makes your crush nod in total surrender.
to make this concotion, get a cauldron.
paw in some oil, as it eats, chop your onion and what you deem feet.
source fr-eyes, spring-kle salt, maggi-c cubes and spice
like time and how it makes one c(h)urry.
ass the aroma wafts in the ear, stir it so it bums not,
then wash the rice and see-v it.

-a pot full of joy-love rice is the perfect doze

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