Way too much rejections? Here is what you should do next

Ever notice how being turned down stops some people from trying again, while others bounce back from rejection stronger than before? Everyone experiences the sting of rejection, but mentally strong people use that pain to grow stronger and become better.

Rejection is painful. There’s no other way about it. And most of us face it on a daily basis, whether it’s that job you didn’t get or a partner that broke up with you or a manuscript that didn’t get published.

Below are what people who’ve mastered rejections do, and what you should do next.

Download a copy of ‘Rejection of Good Manuscripts: Possible Reasons, Consequences and Solutions’ by Ahmed Ibrahim Fathelrahman, Assistant Professor, Qassim University, Saudi Arabia.

Acknowledge Your Emotions

Rather than suppress, ignore, or deny the pain, mentally strong people acknowledge their emotions. They admit when they’re embarrassed, sad, disappointed, or discouraged. They have confidence in their ability to deal with uncomfortable emotions head-on, which is essential to coping with their discomfort in a healthy manner.

Whether you’ve been stood up by a date or turned down for a promotion, rejection stings. Trying to minimize the pain by convincing yourself–or someone else–it was “no big deal” will only prolong your pain. The best way to deal with uncomfortable emotions is to face them head-on.

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Treat Yourself With Compassion

Rather than think, “You’re so stupid for thinking you could do that,” mentally strong people treat themselves with compassion. They respond to negative self-talk with a kinder, more affirming message.

Whether you got dumped by your long-term love or blindsided by a recent firing, beating yourself up will only keep you down. Speak to yourself like a trusted friend. Drown out your harsh inner critic by repeating helpful mantras that will keep you mentally strong.

Have zero tolerance for self-criticism

Psychologist Guy Winch says the first thing many people do after experiencing rejection is to start listing all their faults, and this is their first mistake. While it can be constructive to review what happened and act differently next time, there is no reason to blame yourself for what happened and think there is anything wrong with you.

Constructive criticism like, “I probably shouldn’t talk about my ex on my next first date,” is fine, but “I’m such a loser, nobody will ever like me,” is not.

Also, just because you were rejected doesn’t mean it was personal. Winch says most rejection, be them romantic, professional, or social, are due to circumstances and finding the right fit. It’s probably not about you, so exhausting yourself by listing everything you think is wrong with you is unnecessary and will just cause you further stress.

Keep Things in Perspective

Tell yourself: “OK, so I got rejected this time. Maybe next time, I’ll get a ‘yes'” or “Oh, well. This is what happened. I don’t like it. It’s not how I wanted things to work out. But everyone gets rejected — and I can try again.”

Think about what you’re good at and what’s good about you. Remember times when you’ve been accepted, when you made the cut, when someone told you “yes.” Think of all the people who like you and support you.

Give yourself credit for trying. You took a risk — good for you. Remind yourself that you can handle the rejection. Even though you were turned down now, there will be another opportunity, another time. Get philosophical: Sometimes things happen for reasons we don’t always understand.

 

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Download a copy of ‘Rejection of Good Manuscripts: Possible Reasons, Consequences and Solutions’ by Ahmed Ibrahim Fathelrahman, Assistant Professor, Qassim University, Saudi Arabia.