Why feminism in Nigeria will remain a failure II

I believe it should be understood that we are just two different genders with different traits – no victory, no vanquished?

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There is a great deal of problems in interpretation of Feminism into Nigerian lexicon, because it is foreign to our culture and traditions and because the adjective “Feminist” is only trending among young women. Say anything from 14 to 45 years of age.

I have a very strong feminist close to me. But her feministic heart shivers whenever she thinks about marriage. Insufficient of eligible men for marriage, actually. She silently prays she finds a man who would marry her soon. Young African man like herself with who she would share rights. Equal rights, remember?

How would a feminist explain the concept to her parents, educated or otherwise? On the former, her parents who inquire about ‘feminism’ that they, who were educated prior to the country’s independence by the white men themselves, were ignorant of, but she who they subsequently sent to school, when school education is nothing to write home about, claims to know better? On the latter, how would she explain it to her parents, especially her mother, who was brought up with utmost beliefs that a man is a woman’s crown. That she must be submissive to him, come what may? She is living with that mindset which her own mother lived with, which her own mother too lived with.

In short, it’s not easy in both instances. I don’t say it is not possible.

Women are born with social value, men labour to build social value for themselves. A woman’s social value appreciates as she gets older depending on her domestic upbringing, thus the society demands that women maintain their value, while a man is expected to labour for it. Thus, Nigerian men suppose shiver when they hear the word “femini….”, but another thing that renders it a toothless is the reality that these so-called feminists are mere online rabble rousers, keypad warriors, attention seekers and trend followers. They live not in accordance with the “Rules of Feminism”. If anything of suchlike exists.

“I am a Feminist!” Men hear as they declare, however they still come around to ask for help, mostly financial. Of course anybody could be in financial fix but there’s no difference in the way – mannerism/amount of time – these feminists ask and “normal” women ask.

They claim to be feminists but still go around to showcase same sexual dispositions as “normal” women.

Also, Nature cannot be cheated. Nigerian Feminists – if they can be used as a case study – prove that women would be women, no matter the adjectives. Their attitudinal dispensations are not different from any other women.

I earnestly wish “budding” would be inspired by these words by a female friend: “I find it very abusive to put pressure on men to provide us with a life we cannot provide for ourselves as women. As much as women are not rehabilitation centres for badly raised men, Men are not poverty eradication plans for lazy women.

Most ladies have it in mind that relationship/Marriage is the best measures to Eradicate poverty or change their standards of living.

“Which is wrong.”

” My sister, be a hardworking woman which is ready to support her partner, don’t have it in mind to be a liability to any man.”

Nobody can cloud the fact that Nature makes a lot of dispositions in women. What a beautiful woman of 19 years can easily get would be an herculean task for a gentleman of the same age. Even if he has exceptional degree or skills.

No matter the face they put up in public, women are self conscious of their physical appearance knowing their social and sexual values depends on it. Rollo Tomassi in his book the ‘Rational Man’ called this “social market value (SMV)”. This is the reason for makeup, photo filter apps, Snapchat, cosmetic surgeries, wigs/weavons, and fake ass and boobs.

Because, as women age their social and sexual values begin to depreciate, a man retains any values he built for himself throughout his life.

This self consciousness make women to become insecure as they get older knowing their social market value is depreciating, they become depressed if they are single, and any subsequent breakups with men turns them into choleric Feminists and sensitive pricks.

One advice for men, is a question: Would she date you if she was younger with higher social market value, and you with poor social value?

Below is drawn from an excerpt titled “feminism, gender inequality and balance of responsibility” on Yusful Knowledge Circuit a platform of Yusuf Oyetunji Adua (YUSFUL) goes thus:

YUSFUL: Life was fair; it created men, it created women. But there’s this issue; our women have one complaint or the other at every given time what are the issues?

RESPONSES:

• Women are born to talk; whether enjoying or suffering. If you are tired of talk, don’t bother taking a woman…
• Everyone gender regardless has something eating them up but some people are stylishly playing the “VICTIM CARD”
• Our women are too selective with their equality pursuit. But all in all, they should acknowledge the difference in creation. Enough of the comparison.
• The issue of disrespect for women is the product of the society we live in, there shouldn’t be such in a sane society. We should address these issues from the root if we truly wanna get it right.
• The society is overly fake

YUSFUL: can the world ever be sane? Because if we are lucky to have a sane society for just a day, gender difficulties and scramble won’t be an issue since everyone will know the right thing.

RESPONSES:
The world can’t be. Women should stop asking for gender fairness. They should ask for respect only. Insanity as concerned our societies is the main reason we are having issues. Insanity would remain as long as people remain selfish; people choose to remain and enjoy the insane world

YUSFUL: Let’s find solutions!! Let’s provide way outs!! Our remaining hale on hearty on this earth is for a reason, How can we get out of this and make life better if not for anybody for our individual selves?

RESPONSES:

• I think that the key to fix it is to find the real hidden victims affected by gender injustice and the few selfless people we still have and work harmoniously with them, from there, the change will start sufficing
• It has to be a collective effort, From our leaders down to the followers. We have to have the will, then imparting it to the generation unborn.
• I think looking for a quick solution will only end up making things worse. These solutions have to be long term solutions and long term solutions take a lot of patience.
• People just need to evolve and develop from the obscene life to the sane one, then we are good to go.
• Protesting won’t move a thing in this, everyone should just have a fundamental knowledge of right and wrong.
• Yusful to be candid, I don’t think we can exhaust opinions on this.

Credit: Jimoh Taofik Adekunle; img credit: The Guardian